As a test manager - what drives my energy is to find problems and report them in best possible way. Honestly - seeing more problems in the application drives me and my team. We get excited if more bugs are discovered. We celebrate every new find and I can see shine faces of my team members. Any news of erratic behavior, application crash, instability of code, environment down - makes us feel happy. Often I think, are we testers sadists?
Sitting next to me - is my friend, colleague - the PM. He is worried man. Every time someone in my team stands up and asks for some clarification - this PM's heart beat goes up and must be thinking - oh no... one more bug !!! During our bug triage meetings, I speak proudly "40 new bugs today and that makes this week's overall tally of 370, 80 of these are critical". My PM friend after regaining calm says "ok - how many fixed bugs are retested? which areas of application are relatively stable? what positive news we can take to our stakeholders".
See the clear change in perspective? PM wants to see what is working, working fine, what positive news we can report? Test manager wants to boast on what new problems testing team has found. It makes sense for testers and test managers to get into shoes of PM's or Dev team once in while to understand what these folks think.
While tester should not lose their sight on finding problems and making sure that they are reported well - collaborating with PM/Dev and stakeholders to achieve a convergence of code towards release/golive date, can often be very useful for over all project stand point.
More often than not - due to changing requirements, unstable code, challenging deadlines - except testers, everyone in the team lose sight of golive. It is like being in a tunnel with no light from other end. PM's and Dev team would be watching with clenched fists to see the end of testing cycle.
The friction between Dev, Test and PM often is due to this differences in perspectives, motives and lack of communication on big picture on Go Live date.
Dear testers - when you find yourself in such situations - show empathy towards fellow team members. Pause sometimes and ask - can I see the project from their eyes, what are their worries and how I can help.
This will go long way in good team bonding and you will be called as "mature tester"